Monday, July 23, 2012

and then she turned around but she wasn't who they thought she was. she had changed.

she had transformed, as we all do on a constant basis.

is this apparently loaded word that people fear and a terrifying idea that many run from.

the thing about change, though, is that it is a completely free idea, without association...until we give it one.
change is YOU. ME. WE.
we are all it. it is happening all around us, all the time, even from the most basic existence of our planet! and by that i mean our earth is constantly changing positions in the sky, in the universe. if it didn't do this, if our earth was stagnant and it lost its orbit and we ceased to see the sun come over those beautiful mountains in the way it does in the early AM and sink behind them in the PM to finish the cycle, we would absolutely and permanently cease to exist.

the seasons would end
the temperatures would blaze on one half of the earth while the other half would freeze, locked forever in a fatal position far away from our planet's generous star.
plants would die
and this would begin to eliminate agriculture while simultaneously breaking down the miraculous cycle of photosynthesis, decreasing the oxygen levels in our atmosphere until breathing is something of a chore until it is impossible.
animals would have nothing to feed on
because the food chain would just continue to disintegrate, taking one species at a time, probably ending with the carnivores who happen to have opposable thumbs.
and water
i don't even want to think of what that would do to our water.
lakes frozen, evaporated, weather patterns thrown completely off, oceans with tidal waves to wipe out entire cities, natural disasters abound.
50% of the earth's inhabitants would be trapped in perpetual darkness
while the other half would exhaust the world's supply of sunscreen in no time as they begin to dig shelters underground to shield themselves from harsh, red rays.
i wonder if gravity would still exist if we weren't turning.
i wonder.

but i digress. because really. i mean...
look the point of all those words up there is that this is how it is. this is our existence, it is one that has already decided that we shall evolve. we are constantly changing just by being earthlings, and this billion year old rock has got it ingrained in us.

so why do we resist it?
and could we benefit from eliminating that resistance?

i'm not saying i don't resist; i am definitely included in the we.
it is hard. it is REALLY hard sometimes, to just throw up your hands and say, "welp, this is how it is and i'm going to smile about the fact that i didn't get that role i worked really damn hard to get." "welllll i guess there's nothing else to do but be grateful for the way this person rarely speaks to me anymore, because that's just the way life is right now." "i think i'll stay positive about the fact that my purse was just stolen for the second time in two months, because i'm going to learn something from it. again."

[we do it all the time as kids. we're changing so much as we grow up and become "adults" or something, and we don't even acknowledge it. because it's just happening, and at that point we haven't really learned to be conscious of our lives changing. it just is and we unknowingly accept that, riding the wave as it flows.]

the third example quote i used above was straight out of my life last year. i compared the two incidents a lot, because my reaction each time was completely different from the other. the first time, i cried and cried over a stolen journal and the nostalgic bag and what a DICK that thief was. i was miserable for a little while. the next time it happened, i calmly called the credit card companies and breathed some, accepting that it had happened and that there was nothing i could do about it.
and ya know what? it felt so good! in fact, it let me look at the humor of the situation, my bag being stolen out of the same parking lot and through the same window...twice.

so we do have control! we have a lot more than we think when it comes to change! we don't need to feel like life sold us a bike with no handlebars, because those handlebars are within ourselves.

we can control the way we react to change and what we do with it. in fact, that's the only thing in life we can control. we decide. and i think that's a beautiful thing.

i'm not saying we shouldn't mourn change, loss, or anything related to it in order to be smiley and  100% positive all the time. that's pretty stupid and nearly impossible.

i think we deserve, and owe it to ourselves in fact, to mourn loss and change if we need to. we're allowed to just feel the sadness and the quick jolt or shock or displacement that comes when something in our lives changes.
but let us recognize that it is temporary. that jolt will only be as long as we make it.
we can take time to get accustomed to the change and what it has brought.
and we can accept it in our own time.
but the longer we mourn how this change has darkened our lives, the longer we miss the beautiful things that have come of it.

after all, change is not going to stop. as long as we breathe, we're doing it.
it's what makes LIFE what it is, it's what makes us FULL and WHOLE.
change is what separates us one. nothing. it connects us.
it gives us meaning.
it gives us opportunity.
it gives us interaction.
it gives us possibility.
it gives us experiences.
it brings us love.
it gives me energy.
it gives me light.
it gives me hope.


  1. this post was incredible.
    i really needed to read it.
    thank you so much.

    1. ashley!
      i am so glad you read this at a time when you needed it.
      what a lovely experience :)
      i hope things are going great for you!