Wednesday, February 12, 2014

tell him to find me

hello, stranger.
i wish i had time to tell you a story.
it's one of those ones that you
and immediately wish it happened to you.
a whirlwind type thing.
i think you'd like my story.

if you see my guy walking around 
(the one from the story) could you please
tell him i love him?
and that it's all just here,
the love, i mean.
just inside me,
slowly leaking out, though,
into other places that deserve it.
additional places.
because it's not all about him.
i love a lot of people and 
i do love myself.

hello again!
could you remind me?
did i ever tell you 
what it felt like
when i kissed him the first time?
it's so cheesy.
it felt like
i never knew what kissing really was.
did i tell you what he said after?

he didn't say anything. 
we kinda just stared and he 
tried to catch his breath.

stranger, hey. 
i know i told you about
the time
he held my hand
as i told him something about me
few have ever heard.
and he kissed my finger tips
and felt the details of my hand 
while i cried.
and then he said, 
"it's okay. you're okay.
i'm so happy you told me."

hello, stranger. 
could you would you
read my mind?
i'm having a hard time understanding it;
my heart keeps getting in the way.
do you speak the language?

hello there.
if you come across my guy...
could you please let him know that
for my own good,
for my sanity,
for my spirit,
because anything one-sided just sucks
and is truly unfair,
because this hurts too much to keep feeling...
because i deserve to live my life...
could you please tell him that

i am letting him go?

that i have stopped 
hanging on to the empty hope 
that he will someday return?
which is not to say that i wouldn't
open my arms to him,
which is not to say that i wouldn't
run to him so fast if
suddenly he was there, just out of the blue.
if i heard him call my name,
i would be paralyzed.
i mean, i would
say nothing 
because let's be real, just to see him again
would catalyze tears, not words.
i would be overjoyed,
stunned into silence,
but that's just
if i ever did see his face one more time.
i would run, i totally would.
but i can't wait right now.
i deserve better.
time just keeps passing.
and this is my time.
he will understand.

are you still there?
i get that you don't understand it 
and all that i have done
just trust me.

there is a better you, always.
fierce and brave.
just waiting,
right around the corner
for the reveal.

see you soon, stranger.

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